A Guy Named Renfield

I’ve been wondering why this has been billed as Jet Li’s final film, and I’ve been having a hard time accepting that assessment anyway. Entertainers always retire and come back for “one final performance”. How many times have the Rolling Stones gone out on a “final” tour? Hasn’t Barbara Streisand been retiring for years? I’m sure if I check any number of web sites, there will probably be a statement from Jet Li summarizing what I automatically assumed when I first heard the promotions: he’s not stupid. He’s probably decided that he’s made enough money and wants to quit while his body can still move of its own accord. I’m sure he wants to spend time raising his daughter and stop risking broken bones on every project he works on. I’m guessing he’s going to start taking on roles as a producer, and will probably start showing up as a “special guest star” in future films.

“Fearless” is a really good martial arts film. It’s based on the life of one of Jet Li’s idols, and embellished in the way all historical movies are. We see the character grow, become a great martial artist, suffer tragedy to learn what martial arts are truly for, and then – inexplicably – watch him start fighting again. It’s done in a modern style that raises it out of the chop-sockey genre, avoids the magic wires altogether, dispenses with the stylized scenery we suffered through in “Hero” and has enough plot driving character moments to make heckling a lot of fun and practically unavoidable.

There were some good trailers that preceded the movie, notable for the inclusion of another martial arts film that’s going to come out in December. It has Chow Yun-Fat as an emperor, samurai vs. ninja action, and the set designer from “Hero” so bring your sunglasses. We also noted that Sarah Michelle Geller, trying to avoid being stereotyped as “Buffy”, is getting stereotyped as the hapless heroine in the modern horror flicks. No kidding. There were tow trailers back to back, one for “The Grudge 2” and the other for another movie that is copying the Grudge formula down to the last letter, including casting Sarah Michelle Geller in the lead. I can’t even remember the title, since we all called it “the Grudge 3”.

My wife and I celebrated our fifth wedding anniversary this past May, and we wanted to go someplace special to celebrate. We decided that since our anniversary fell so close to Cinco de Mayo, we’d find someplace that had a really good CDM celebration. However, a search of the internet told us what we pretty much already suspected: Cinco de Mayo is strictly an American holiday, invented by the tequila industry. Sure, it does have some Hispanic origin, but it’s not a particularly big deal in Mexico or any other place south of the border. While there are some places in America that have big street festivals for it, pretty much any bar has what we’re looking for in a Cinco de Mayo celebration. So we said heck with it and settled on Las Vegas.

While researching Las Vegas travel sites, I discovered TripAdvisor.com. It’s a site where anyone can go to read and write reviews about restaurants, hotels, attractions, and every other tourist destination in the world. It also includes forums for each site that allows visitors to ask questions and exchange information with other travelers and locals. It’s those forums I found particularly invaluable. Not only do you get pointed to good deals and insider tips, you really get a feel for how real people feel about different places and can match that up with your own feelings and expectations.

After we returned from Las Vegas, I was sure to go back there and leave reviews of all the places we went. When I was done, it suddenly occurred to me that with the way the site was set up, there was probably a page for every major city. I quickly checked the heading for “United States>Maryland>Baltimore” and sure enough, I pulled up our dedicated overview page. I have since made it a frequent stop, and made sure to check the questions on the message board so that I can offer local information to those travelers who decide to venture to our charming city. In my endeavors to do so, I have discovered how little about the place I actually know. Fortunately, there are other locals who frequent the board as well, but I do what I can.

Most questions are like "Where's a good place for crabs? or "Where should I go?" or "Is the Aquarium worth it?" or "Is the Wyndham really that bad?" Most answers can be found by either searching the message board before the question is asked, or using the site's other resurces and pulling up specific hotels and restaurants before you start. I try to remember that anyone asking a question has probably searched all over the internet before they find that site, and are probably asking the question because it's their first opportunity to do so and might allow them the luxury to avoid more research. Still, it can get pretty tiring to say "LP Steamer's" or "AVAM" or "Yes, if you get tickets online" or "Worse" over and over again. Still, it's nice to impart what little wisdom I have in a useful manner.

The Maryland Crab and Beer Fest looked like it attracted more people than it did last year, which is to be expected. Rain had made the place into a soggy minefield of puddles in between the loose stones on the ground, but it wasn’t too bad. It was cloudy with intermittent sunshine, but there was a constant breeze that chilled things considerably. I’m glad my wife had the foresight to pack an extra shirt and vest in our bag, because my teeth were chattering at one point. Aside from the beer stand, there was also a cigar vendor, a salsa stand (Grenade, I think), a Cabot cheese stand, and a clothing merchant. I forget who was selling the shirts and hats, but the shirts all read “Peace” or something, and they donate their profits to organizations that are dedicated to global social consciousness or something like that. A friend of ours is an anarchist, and I told my wife we should buy one for him and say, “Here’s a shirt, now shut up!” The live bands were good, but maybe they had their amps turned up louder than last year, as it was very hard to have a conversation with the person next to you. Unfortunately, the boiler they were using for the crabs broke down, so they had to truck the crabs in (presumably from HarborPlace). There plenty of crabs for everyone, but it made for a lot of standing around and waiting. We eventually left after we ate our fill, around 4:30 I guess. Maybe better weather would have made for a more enjoyable day or better emergency planning, not that either is really in the control of the event organizers’. Just bad luck.

After regrouping at our house, we drove to Hampden for a friend’s mud wrestling party. One of the women we met in the Fluid Movement show decided to get her lawn re-sodded, so I guess she decided to get rid of the old one in the most creative way possible. She made a mud pit, invited everyone to come in costume, and everyone who wanted threw their names in a hat to throw themselves at each other in the mud. It was absolutely as zany as it sounds. All in all, though, it may not have been the best idea for me to go from a beer festival to a keg party in the same day.

The next day my wife and I attended a meeting of the Greater Columbia-area Fantasy Costumers Guild at the Brooklyn Park library. We aren’t active members of the Guild these days, but we were there to help plan the haunted house to be held at the library October 28. We helped out last year, and it was a lot of fun and the community really appreciated it, so we’re looking forward to helping out again this year.

After the meeting we all went to Bill Bateman’s Bistro II in Harundale Plaza in Glen Burnie. I like Bill Bateman’s mainly because it is so nicely unpretentious. They are known for their buffalo wings, and the table ordered two trays full to share. The garlic wings are very pleasant for the garlic lover, and the regular style is nicely spicy without being too hot. We showed up very hungry, which is a good idea for Bill Bateman’s. I ordered a bacon cheeseburger, which while very basic was still uniquely theirs. It was large enough on its own, so much so that I tragically did not even notice the bacon, but the regular burgers are almost hidden on the menu page with their specialty burgers. I nearly ordered the super bacon cheeseburger, and I’m glad I didn’t because that’s exactly what it sounds like, a plate-sized burger on a bun to match. I normally skip dessert, but the table ordered coffee and tow pan-fried cookies. These treats are chocolate chocolate-chip cookies that come out in the small frying pans, topped with ice cream and whipped cream. Decadent is the word. Our waitress was a dream, and the whole experience was enjoyable. One thing to keep in mind is that the sodas are not bottomless as some restaurants are, not necessarily an issue but I was surprised as we were tallying up the check.

The Maryland Crab and Beer Festival is being held this Saturday in Fell’s Point. My wife and I went to the first one last year not really knowing what to expect. It was $50 (in advance, more at the door) for all you can eat and drink and a live band. We weren’t sure exactly where in Fell’s Point it was supposed to be, or if that was all there was to it. As much as we like a good crab feast, we might have passed up on it if we hadn’t noticed that the beer was provided by Clipper City. They are a local brewery located around the corner from our house, so we go there almost every month for their tour and tasting. So we decided to go, following the directions to the end of Thames Street where there is a large open area set aside for such events, and figured we’d stay for a couple hours and then split.

We shut the place down.

We got there at noon with a friend of ours, and left as they were closing the gate (around 7:00, I think.) Time flies when you’re picking crabs, I guess. Not that we gorged ourselves or got enormously drunk. When we weren’t eating, wed took a stroll to the water’s edge, chatted with other feasters, or played Cosmic Wimpout (a dice game) until we were ready to eat some more. The live band provided a nice background atmosphere for the truly pleasant afternoon. We’re really looking forward to tomorrow.

Afterwards, we’re going to a mud wrestling party!

THE BALTIMORE COMIC-CON

A couple friends and I went to the comic book convention at the Convention Center on Sunday, while the wives took off to Ikea. I think we may have been in a challenge to see who could spend more. A comic book convention of that size is a must for any comic book fan, as there are rows upon rows of comic book dealers from every era, as well as action figures and other collectibles that appeal to the typical fan. I have always felt kind of irked when I pay fifteen bucks for the privilege of going shopping, but there are also tables where you can meet professional writers and artists as well as tables for independent comic creators whom you might not discover otherwise. There is also a token effort at a program with panel discussions by several companies and professionals.

I admit I’ve grown disillusioned with comic books in the last year or so. (Gasp! Am I growing up?) Since both of the two major comic book companies have decided that their target demographic is seventeen-year-old boys, one has decided that all of their characters have to be hyper-violent and abandoned all pretense of story-telling, and the other has decided that superheroes don’t need to act heroically at all. When Superman is shown graphically ripping a guy’s arm out of its socket and Mr. Fantastic supports McCarthyism, maybe it’s time for me to stop. I know both companies have made company-wide decisions in the past that have alienated readers, and then and now they pointed to sales figures to support their decisions, but it may be time for me to walk away. There are still good independent titles, but they’re getting fewer and harder to find these days. Oh, well. I’ve been pondering this for a while, and I probably will for a while yet.

I did find some back issues I was looking for, and made an impulse buy or two, but I did hold off on some purchases just trying to be aware of what I was spending. A friend of mine just bought a car on eBay, and he was pleased that he spent forty bucks less than last year. I told him he should tell people he bought the Batmobile. After talking to the people we wanted to, and being frustrated in our efforts to find others, we clutched our purchases under our arms and walked to the Inner Harbor for lunch.

I like Capital City Brewing Company. My wife and I consider it one of our “safety” restaurants, in that it’s never let us down. Their complimentary pretzels with horseradish dip is always appreciated, and goes great with the first round of beer as they well know. One bonus was that one of the seasonal beers they had on tap was “Fuel”. It’s mixed with coffee in the brewing process somewhere, and is so dark that it absorbs light. It also went great with the sausage sandwich I ordered. After lunch we scattered to the four winds, and I arrived home just in time to help my wife unload the six long heavy boxes out of her friend’s SUV.

JEDI LEVITATION

Sunday we were in the bedroom getting dressed, and my wife, still tired, was lying on her back and extended a hand towards the end of the bed where her clothes were hanging.

Standing at the end of the bed, I tossed her pants to her.

She extended her hand again, so I tossed her shirt to her.

The next thing she knew, I had leaped over the end of the bed and sprawled on top of her.

“Honey,” I yelled, “turn that damned thing off!”

SNAKES ON A PLANE

Saturday night the wife and I went out to dinner at Arundel Mills, mainly because it was close to work where I needed to grab a file from my computer, and also because it was the only local theater still showing “Snakes on a Plane”. We sat down at Blue Star Grill, which by décor and design specializes in down home American cuisine. She ordered a fish sandwich, which while not really special was not bad. Unfortunately, the cole slaw that was served with it had gone off. It didn’t detract from the rest of the meal, though, and in fact we kept forgetting to mention it to the waitress until after we received our check. I had the meatloaf, which was done perfectly tender and tasty. I was disconcerted to see that the onion rings that the menu said were served with it were only two in number. Just as well, I suppose, as the three slices of meatloaf were very filling all on their own, but let the buyer beware.

“Snakes on a Plane” is just as fun and enjoyable as it sounds. The first movie to proudly advertise that it bowed to internet pressure in its creation, it never tries to be anything more than the outrageous scream-fest that it is. Since it was not a true horror movie, I had a hard time watching some of the more gruesome deaths, and my wife had to get past the fact that she shouldn’t actually be rooting for the snakes, but the movie had so much non-stop energy that both were fleeting moments in our ride through the movie. I’ll need to do a little research to find out exactly which scenes were changed due to the chat room factor, but I’m sure that will be explicitly packaged as an extra on the DVD.

MEMPHIS

My wife and I drove to Memphis, Tennessee last weekend for a friend’s wedding. We left Thursday afternoon at 4:00 p.m. and drove straight through, arriving at 7:00 a.m. We really should have thought that out better. Regular check-in time at the hotel is 3:00 p.m., and even though we did factor in getting breakfast when we arrived, we still weren’t able to check in until 10:00 a.m., so we had to cool our jets for a while as we traipsed around like the walking dead. My wife was actually more rested than I, as I only slept for about an hour on the drive since I have trouble napping in strange places, while she can sleep[ quite happily if she was strapped to a jet engine.

We took I-70 to Rt 340 and then to Rt 7 out of Maryland. Right after it narrowed to a single lane there was a restaurant we stopped at called John’s. It seemed to be a favorite of the locals, and seemed to specialize in wholesome, simple food. I wanted energy for the trip, and my wife wanted to sleep on the first leg, so I ordered a steak with vegetables and she ordered chicken with macaroni and cheese. Perhaps they tried to be too wholesome. My steak was okay, if nothing special (it’s hard to screw up a steak), but my wife found her food particularly bland. Coupled with their creepy decorating motif of early grandmother on a religious kick, we definitely decided we could give it a miss on our way back.

After driving through the rain brought in by Ernesto, we finally reached I-81 in Tennessee and turned west. I handed the wheel over to my wife and settled in for a nap. I don’t remember falling asleep at all, but she swears I was snoring. Around 2:00 a.m. we stopped at a Waffle House. I don’t understand my wife’s fascination with the place. Before we left, she marked down the exit number of every single Waffle House along our route. I don’t mind the place, in fact I like their waffles a lot, I just don’t see anything really special about them. Reversing our dinner roles (dinner rolls?), she ordered eggs and coffee and I ordered a waffle (I said I liked them). Unfortunately, I never was able to get back to sleep.

After braving the Memphis rush hour (not too bad) and not checking into our room at 7:00 a.m., we went to Brother Juniper’s a few blocks away. We had researched this place, and all the reviews called it “the best breakfast in Memphis”. They weren’t lying. It’s a small, seat yourself place that apparently caters to the local college crowd. They crow about being featured on the Food Network’s “$40 a Day” show, and I did order “Rachel Ray’s Favorite”, an open-faced omelet called “The San Diegan”. Gordon Ramsey would freak. It had bacon, sour cream, home fries, spinach, feta cheese, tomatoes, and several other ingredients generously piled on. A lot of good food for a good price. June ordered one of their potato dishes, another specialty.

After breakfast, we still couldn’t check in, so we drove around Memphis. We found Beale Street, stopped at a Visitor’s Center near the giant glass Pyramid (it’s an arena) and hung out at a park near the Mississippi River where we were startled by a local cicada. Their cicadas are bright green with a deep buzz as opposed to our yellow and orange variety that has a high-pitched chitter. We got back to the Holiday Inn at 10:00 a.m., and were finally able to check in. Since I was desperate to get some sleep, our friend (the groom) of course chose that moment to spot us and chat for a half hour. We finally got into the room where I just fell into bed and crashed for several hours.

After we woke up, we made our way down to the ballroom where they were setting up for the next day’s reception. We met the bride for the first time, and helped put chair covers on the 400 chairs. From there we went to the rehearsal, which was unfortunately completely mishandled by the wedding planner. She was very experienced apparently, but dropped the ball and made the rehearsal last three times longer than necessary. After the rehearsal dinner, the boys and girls split up for the bachelor and bachelorette parties, which I was still too tired to truly enjoy.

The next day we had another great breakfast at Brother Juniper’s. We nearly missed it – they’re breakfast only – and they were out of cinnamon rolls. The wedding itself was beautiful, as was the reception afterwards. I was surprised at how quickly everyone cleared out after the cake was served. There was a deejay, so I was expecting dancing to go on into the night. Maybe everyone just decided to take advantage of the locale and ran out to enjoy the Memphis night life. Maybe all of the out-of-towners were anxious to get back on the road for the trip home. Maybe they were cheap jerks who scampered off after they finished their free meal. I don’t know. After hanging out for a while, we retired to our room as the happy couple was preparing to leave for theirs.

Sunday we had a nice lunch at the Germantown Commissary in order to try some Memphis barbecue. I made short work of my ribs, but my wife managed to save enough of her pulled pork to make a sandwich for the road. We then made our way leisurely back east, stopping at a Lodge cast iron outlet to admire their frying pans but settling on a hibachi. We wanted to check out other places to see or eat along the way, but couldn’t do any research since we forgot to plug in the laptop to charge in the hotel room. We did drive n to Nashville and after buying some pralines we settled on BB Kings to eat. The food was good, but the promised live music doesn’t start until 8:00 p.m., and they wouldn’t open the window so we could hear the jazz festival we had a perfect view of across the road. We did take advantage of a nearby plug to charge the laptop, though. We made it as far as Knoxville, where we decided to stop at a Best Western for the night. It was more than the prices stamped on all the billboards for Motel 6s and other budget hotels, but my wife begrudgingly admitted that you get what you pay for.

We enjoyed a complimentary breakfast at the hotel. No meat in their “hot” breakfast, but there was a make-your-own waffle station, so still pretty nice. Labor Day was spent driving north, and while we debated on stopping to eat dinner, we were so close to home by that time that we settled for stopping at a produce stand and just scrounging through the freezer when we got home.